Wild fantasies and an unexpected letter from the Mistress

Most admirable ADVICE from the 1830s.

Mrs Finnegan’s Chronicles: the Celebrated Authority in affairs of the HEART and HOUSEHOLD MANAGEMENT

Dear Mrs Finnegan,

Sometimes I have fantasies about things that could not possibly happen. Is this wrong?

Perturbed of Lewes

No.

I am currently living in splendid isolation as the family have departed and I am in SOLE CHARGE of The Regency Town House.
I want to go to a ball in a dress that is far too expensive for me and wear so much jewellery I clank when I walk, then drink too much too quickly, and insult someone by forgetting I met them six months earlier. I then go back to my room in a carriage and eat CHEESE.

Dear Mrs Finnegan,

Desperately in need of something to lift my spirits, dear Mrs Finnegan, so I appeal to you. What do you do when feeling low?

Downcast of Hove village

I lie flat on the drawing room floor and look up. There will always be BEAUTY and grace in this world and it is our DUTY to look for it where ever it may be. As you live in the village of Hove your search may take a little longer than others.
Now, if only there was someone to help me up…

Yours respectfully

MRS FINNEGAN

PS A letter has just arrived from the Mistress!

 

I pen this note to reassure you we have arrived safely with my brother in Somerset, although we came here so very uncomfortably and at such great haste that I find I have forgotten almost everything. 
I had also forgotten that my brother’s wife, Euphemia, is disagreeable. I think she is jealous of our position in society…but I see that we are effectively prisoners and I must persevere in seeking good relations with my jailor. 
I find that I miss Brighton too much and I am quite sure that Thomson does. He goes for longer and longer walks, having never spent much time with me nor having much patience with the talk of ladies. He and my brother have started to play a card game called Buouillotte. Much porter is taken and they both raise their voices. I fear that money is involved.

Please make sure that you take care of our beautiful house in Brunswick Square. You will have nothing else to do, so I am depending on you to clean it from top to bottom.
Yours etc Martha Hankey

PPS I am not expecting Mrs Hankey to return in the FORESEEABLE future.

Follow @_Mrs_Finnegan on twitter. She tweets every day, usually several times. She cannot help it. 
This is a regular feature created and written by Bridget Wheelan with Paul Couchman, The Regency Cook