16 Dec 1856 - 1

Mrs Richard Bevan
Highcliffe Lodge
Brighton

My dearest sister
You will like to hear of our Brother, & I now feel sorry I did not write yesterday. Many thanks for your kind notes, one on Saturday Mg & one on Sunday Mg with the letter - the latter shall be cared for, & returned. We thought dear James on Saturday evg. better than we expected, that is more composed - he took a little supper with us & talked much of his dear departed Boy - Raymond was with him on Sunday Mg, he went to Mr Voges, with Mary E. & myself, M.A & Raymond walked to Haltons; there is much difficulty in procuring seats for so many if not previously engaged.  In the afternoon James walked up to us, and sat some time; he was less tranquil than on Saturday, he returned in the evg with Bagll and was then far more distant, and so painfully nervous it quite troubled us. He was to start by the 9.20 train on Monday & forbid any one to be downstairs, but at the last moment, called Rayd to walk with him to the terminus.  On Saturday evg when walking from station [sic], a horse ran away with a fly, & James, in endeavouring to get out of the way, in the dark, fell, and thought he was not hurt – yet he was much shaken and this made him very nervous.  He did not say he would not come again, but certainly it would not be for Christmas.  We feel saddened about him and oh how earnestly would we beseech God to have mercy on him.  He brought us the extracts from Capn C’s last letter to his wife, and the details of our sweet boy are even more touchingly told than in the letter to Jas.  That letter I intend to copy and you shall see it.  The whole are to be copied in a book for James. Elis proposes doing it.  MA felt very poorly all Friday and Saty and did not go out, indeed I was obliged to have 2 flys on Saty to enable me to get out at all.  I have asked dear Jas to order you a turkey for next week, which I hope dearest you will kindly accept.  Bagll complains of much languor and [-] [barely legible text], he will improve I hope with the colder weather.  The shock to him was very great.  He is so thin, he is having some bark[?] – and Jas said he would sent him some port wine.  I am not surprised the dear one has failed – many thanks, Mrs Boocle for her kind messages.  Evd B[-] [barely legible text] wrote a few lines to Jas such a note, a heathen might have sent it, no reference to the hand which smote, or Heart which could heal – his, and [-] [barely legible text] stand alone, every other recognises the hand of God.  Is it not sad, that a professing Ch should lose an opportunity of saying a word on such an occasion.
We had most kind letters today from Mrs Reuben, Mrs Morton and the Davidsons.
Poor M[-] [barely legible text] has just been with us, she is better today but very sad when she feels that her boy is really gone. She will I fear be enabled to realise the blessedness of his present state, absent from the body, present with his Lord and Saviour.  What comfort all this reassurance gives, we shall never have another occasion to care for our darling.  Then take tea with us tomorrow. I am afraid dearest that there would not be much comfort in your coming over.  It would be a great fatigue and excitement and would be difficult to divide the time, otherwise how delighted we should be to see you.  I have asked James if I might take Rayd to Brighton with me one day before they leave, not at present, he fully consents. I have such a longing to see you dearest, but returning in the dark alone has deterred me, and I shall not go, if you would not feel equal to see me.  I think Elis is rather more comfortable and I hope she has slept better since the weather has become calmer.  I have had a troublesome gathering in my ear, not so bad as last winter, and I have had an inclination to others about my face.  I have had from Godfreys C[-] [barely legible text] a preparation of bark, which I am taking three times a day.  MA says Rayd appeared weak today and so soon fatigued and no appetite. If not better, I shall make them have Mrs Ticehurst.
Pray tell about the Morton wedding. Mrs M’s silence disputing the gentleman, makes us fancy there may be something strange.
I hope both Mr Bevan and yourself dearest feel better for the change.  Our love to him, the ladies, and kindred love to you dear dear sister, your truly aff

Sibella C. Dewar